erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
