we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize
