I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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