I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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