too bad you live with your parents still
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
