We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize
