I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
babies were throwing up all over the place
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
