so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
