Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize
