I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
you mean i was at the winter classic?
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
