There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
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