nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize