Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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