He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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