Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
