Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
