oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
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