nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
