I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize