i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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