oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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