R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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