I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Randomize
