there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
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I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
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And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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