Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
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