god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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