I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
