take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
