imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
