it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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