Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Randomize
