It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
