We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
