ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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