Having a random hookup so left but love u
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
