Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
