It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize
