PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
It's Friday. Sex?
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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