You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
