id be glad to
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
