in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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