What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
