I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
