apparently the secret to your success is patron
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
God I need to hump something, right now.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
