It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
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75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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