party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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