I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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