he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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