epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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