Can i not drive my cunt home
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Randomize
