I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
