i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
