i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
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