Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
