Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
She's like a pop up book from hell.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
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