i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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