The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
