Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
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