Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize