Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
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I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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