where am i from again
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
