We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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