I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize