we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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