Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
