I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
