Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
